• Rest when you can. If you have a small child, try to nap when they do. Your hospital may be able to provide accomodation or a bed for you to sleep next to your child. Ask your bedside nurse what the hospital can provide. Try to share the staying overnight with your partner, if you can. Mothers, in particular, can feel like they always need to stay but it is important to get decent sleep. Don’t feel guilty!

• Try to eat regularly, and drink lots of water. Some hospitals provide food for breastfeeding mothers, or can give you vouchers for the hospital canteen. Ask your bedside nurse or get in touch with the hospital family support team (if they have one). If you are in one of the UK’s children’s hospitals, you can find a directory of hospital facilities here. Hospitals can also be really hot and it’s very easy to get dehydrated – which will make you feel tired, you’ll find it harder to concentrate and you may experience headaches and dizziness.

• Try to leave the hospital at least once a day, even if it’s just a walk around the hospital car park! Fresh air can help you relax – you’ll come back to the ward with more energy, focus and less stress.

• Find out if your hospital offers psychological support to parents. Ask your bedside nurse or get in touch with the hospital family support team (if they have one). If you are in one of the UK’s children’s hospitals, you can find a directory of hospital facilities here.

• Find something that helps you and your mind escape from the hospital.
  • Watch something you find absorbing. It doesn’t matter whether it’s the football or the latest Netflix series, find something that transports you to a different place.
  • Try some mindfulness or meditation. There are lots of free apps on iStore and Google Play, or you can search on a podcast platform.
  • Lots of parents find concentrating difficult in hospital so why not try a new hobby which doesn’t need a lot of brain space or kit. Parents in hospital recommend knitting, adult colouring books, crosswords and puzzles – anything you can easily pick up and put down.
  • Try and get some exercise. Walking is easy and free, but – with a pair of trainers – you could also try running. If you have a private room, try a free exercise video (there are loads on YouTube, Facebook, etc).

• Be careful when searching your child’s condition online. You are likely to find a lot of information which may not be relevant to your child and their circumstances. You are also likely to find extreme stories (both good and bad), which can cause a lot of anxiety.
  • There are some wonderful charities, and support groups (especially on Facebook), online for parents of children with underlying and long-term conditions but it’s worth exercising a bit of caution even with these. Look at the purpose of the charity/group, what they do and – for groups – how many members they have. Some will be specific for your child’s condition and some will be more general.

• Think about what you can outsource – and do it. Can someone else pick your other children up from school? Do you have a friend willing to do some laundry or a bit of cleaning? Can you order a takeaway rather than trying to cook? Can a family member pop round and feed your pets? Try to minimise the demands on your time where you can.

If you are in a relationship, you may find it changes or is impacted by your child being in hospital. This is normal. Having a child in hospital can test even the strongest of relationships. You’re worried about your child, you have less time for each other and you may have concerns about other parts of your life or feeling pressure from family and friends. Your partner may not be one of your child’s parents. It might be a relatively new relationship. You may be trying to protect them. However, they can be a vital source of support for you. 

It is important to keep talking to your partner about what is going on in hospital and decide how you are going to manage the situation. Who will be with your child, and when? How will you manage everything else in your life?

If your child is seriously ill or likely to be in hospital for a long time, it is also helpful to have a discussion about how you want your child to be cared for and what treatments and procedures you will agree to. What can one parents agree to without consulting the other? What needs both of you?

• Relate (the relationship people) have advice on managing your relationship, including during difficult times.

• The Mental Health Foundation also has advice on investing in your relationship.