At this time of year, when so many people are celebrating special events, it can be especially hard to be in hospital with your child. So how do you cope? As mum, Emma, says you are not alone. Here’s her story.

For two years visiting Bristol Children’s hospital at Christmas and New Year was our family’s norm. My daughter, Izzy, born with non-functioning kidneys required regular haemodialysis treatment on the renal unit three times a week for more than 3 hours at a time. It was gruelling regime where she was confined to a cot – as a family we were at least grateful to be local knowing others had travelled many hours to the hospital unit. The need to have dialysis regularly meant it couldn’t just be paused for Christmas. This meant in order to have Christmas Day and Boxing Day off from treatment we needed to go into the hospital on Christmas Eve.  It was so hard seeing friends and family enjoying the festive build-up on Christmas Eve while we bundled Izzy into the car for her lifesaving treatment, praying that all would be well, and she would be clinically safe to enjoy Christmas Day at home. When you have a child, Christmas is one of those times you imagine will be full of magic and precious memories to treasure of their early years – you don’t contemplate you will be in hospital with them, attached to machines, feeling poorly. It breaks your heart a little knowing what they are missing out on.

Hospital at Christmas is different to any other time of year. As many patients as possible are discharged so that they can be at home with their families. It is eerily quiet but of course nurses, doctors and support staff are still around some knowing they will be away from their loved ones at Christmas while others are on call. I am always so grateful for their sacrifices to make sure my little girl is safe and if we need them, they are there, 24hrs a day. Over the years they have felt like friends and spending Christmas time with them has been comforting.

No one wishes children to be in hospital let alone at Christmas, but the hospital staff do their very best to try and make it fun. The wards are decorated, and each has a Christmas tree. For us, we knew many of the other families at the dialysis unit and that helped to keep spirits up, knowing we had others to share our experience with. The nurses would dress up in elf costumes or glittery Christmas jumpers. We would wear Christmas jumpers too while Izzy would be dressed as Mrs Christmas or a Christmas fairy! Usually, a Christmas movie would be on the big television and the unit would play Christmas music. Christmas crafts and activities were on hand to pass the time. In 2018, Izzy’s baby brother was born and he, at eight weeks old, also spent his first Christmas Eve at hospital. It was important that we were together as a family, dressed up like we would be at home.

The hospital makes sure that the children received presents from Father Christmas – so kindly donated by supporters. Siblings of long-term patients like Izzy also get gifts. They too are not experiencing Christmas the same as their friends so making sure they are included is incredibly important. The parents lounge would be stocked with treats to keep tired Mum’s and Dad’s going – these gestures are everything and the hospital charities are vital to bring this magic to the hospital bedside.

Since Izzy’s kidney transplant in Jan 2019 hospital at Christmas has thankfully been a rare occurrence and we have experienced what it’s like to have the freedom to visit friends and family over the festive period without needing to be tied to home. December 2020 brought back some of those festive hospital memories when Izzy became very poorly on Boxing Day and was admitted.  Of course, this was at the height of the pandemic so only one parent could be there.  It was difficult being back in, now having experienced what a normal Christmas is like with young children. Sometimes I can find myself asking why us? Why Izzy? But then I remember that if we are together as a family that is all that matters. I can only imagine how tough the last few years have been with the pandemic restricting family members and visitors.

When I pass the Children’s hospital at Christmas time now, with the big twinkly Christmas tree outside, I find myself looking up at the windows wondering about the families inside, how they are feeling. I want to tell them it will be okay; they are not alone the hospital will do its best to bring some Christmas magic to them.